This week he noticed that Macie had been invited to 2 birthday parties. He said, "Mom, it's not fair, I have only been invited to one party since Kindergarten!" "And family parties don't count, Mom!""So why don't I get invitations in the mail like Macie?" He had me there. I had no response. I still don't. I just said we would go do something fun while she was at the parties. This is heartbreaking for me but I cannot fix it. Aspergers to us has been such a social struggle. When you try to force things to happen or work it can be a disaster. Things need to happen naturally, at least I think so.
So with that be said I went to my therapy, freeze pops and amazon.com and ordered some books (self-help of course). I am thinking I can read myself out of this obstacle all while enjoying a yummy freeze pops! LOL! I will let you know how this turns out.
Something else that I have been think about is... Why would anyone thrive on, wish for or want there to be something wrong with their child? We have encountered this lately. Is it an attention thing?
We are Super blessed that all 3 of our children are healthy! One of the reasons I did not talk about some of our struggles was because sudden comparisons are happening... or it's a monkey see monkey do situation! Even though I consider myself one of the luckiest moms in the world, I pray someday I will wake up without some of the struggles we have as a family. I don't want attention for any of this! I did not ask for this, and I don't wish this upon anyone else. Misery does not love company in this case. I want to help others in the same situation of course. I hope to get some help from others as well.
Hey, Guess what? I now how 11 fabulous people following my blog! When I reach 25 I will be doing a contest /give-a-way!
Here is something else I have considered doing...... I am a complete book junkie!!! My Motto is, "you can never have too many books!"
I am thinking about starting a lending library.... I have many resource books on Sensory prossessing disorder, autism/aspergers, social stories, and sooo much more!!! I would list all the books we have and lend them out. I am trying to even figure it out for out of towners!
Now that I have emptied my brain... I will leave you to enjoy this fabulous week and your Families! Stay cool!Until Next Time,
Amy
Hey A--I LOVED those books as well!! We've had a similar problem with birthday invites over at our house...for some reason L doesn't get nearly as many as E does and it causes all kinds of friction and hurt feelings :-( It's hard to know what to say that will help and all you want to do is squeeze them tight and cry for them. I hope the books and freeze pops work (might help to add some vino in there somewhere ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Amy!!!
Deletepoor kid! i wonder if kids get less invites as they get older...it seemed ella was invited to more parties when she was younger. maybe if you let him plan a party, invite a couple friends over for a playdate, but make it a "fancy" playdate, not a birthday party (unless he has a bday soon) -- but just something small, a few friends with snacks and wii games or something - but something he could have a hand in planning and get excited about - get rid of the sibs for the day and make it all about him. does he have a couple close friends he could do this with? max would play wii games with him!! and we need to get sam & garrett together at some point...sam said something about him yesterday, wanting to play mario kart, haha.
ReplyDeleteyou are an awesome mama, and so in-tune to your kid's needs. he's lucky to have you looking after him! all of your kids are lucky to have such a wonderful mama!
Thanks Katie!!!! What a fantastic idea! Garrett asked to email Sam after he saw Aiden email his cousin=) Lets get them together soon!
DeleteHi Amy!!! Little late reading this post. I love that you are blogging... I am not good at keeping up with it.... one of my "when school starts" goals.
ReplyDeleteAbout the Monkey see Monkey Do issue. I think there's a point in what becomes a "comparison conversation" where you go into self preservation mode. There are people out there that have a "me too" attitude and there are also the "I can top that" attitudes. Either case is a head scratcher. When it happens, I just try to stop and listen and say "wow, that's interesting, or hard, or ____ insert adjective" it makes that person feel heard without having to continue with the batminton match. It hopefully stops the pattern so you don't really have to listen anymore (wink wink).
Your babies (I use that term lightly) are so lucky to have you as a mommy!! We are lucky to have you as a friend and resource. Keep up the good work girlie!